Are you tired of being too succesful at project management?
1. Don't give details
It’s important to give very telegraphic instructions in the
tasks, so that your team has to guess what you really want.
2. Communicate on a
And when your team asks questions about the project, don’t
give clear answers. In fact, your collaborators don’t even need to know what
the project is about and what you’re trying to accomplish. It’s not like it
would help them do their job!
3. Be an optimist
Assume everything will happen as expected. Your planning is
perfect, the way you created tasks exactly follows the way things should be.
And what should be is definitely how it will be. Murphy’s Law does not apply to
project management, after all.
4. Leave no margin
for error in the timeline
No one ever gets sick, leaves the company or needs to take
time off unexpectedly. And your team is so great that they are never late in
their tasks, in fact nothing ever takes longer than planned with your team.
5. Take no
suggestions from your team
It’s not like they know anything about the project, right?
After all, you didn’t tell them anything about it.
6. Live in an ivory
Since you don’t need to inform your team and they have
nothing of value to add to the project, no need to talk to them, or even sit in
the same room with them.
7. Stick to project
Managing a project is a very important task. This is why you
should do nothing else in the team. There is no need to manage your teammates; this
is why there is an HR department in your organization.
8. Rely on
assumptions and your own guesswork
Only you know what the project needs. Don’t listen to any
feedback from your team, simply take your guesswork for reality.
9. Rely only on your
project management software to know how your project is going
There is nothing more to the project than the sum of its
tasks. As we said earlier, HR can take care of the rest.
10. Believe in
Once a project is completed, everything is finished and
there will be no need to corrections and improvements. There are no such things
Happy Easter eveyrone!